What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal
If school is making you depressed or suicidal - there is nothing wrong with you. This is important.
The average school is not designed to be a pleasant environment... they're not really even designed for real learning, only for passing tests and jumping through hoops to get qualifications to get accepted into colleges/universities so that you can jump through more hoops to get more qualifications, so that you can work for someone else who will pay you money, so that you can eat. It is a pretty depressing thought if you actually think about it... most people don't really think about it that much.
What to do if you're suicidal?
Try to stop going to school as much as you possibly can. I know it's hard with people nagging you, maybe threatening you or even physically forcing you to go... but your life is important, far more important than some grades or your parents' approval.
Also, Read about alternatives to school. Our Help & Support page has some links to organizations that can help you get out of school.
If school is constantly making you depressed - There's a lot of stupid information about depression out there in the world. If school is depressing you, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or the chemicals in your brain. School is a depressing and unnatural environment, and your depression is a totally natural reaction to it. Getting out would probably be the best thing to do (but far from the easiest thing to do, as you can probably imagine).
Here are more things to read about why school is bad.
Write about it
People say that venting your feelings helps you deal with them. If you want to share your feelings with others, you can write a blog post about it which I can publish on the site. Instructions for how to do that are here.
You can also contact me here. I'd like to hear from you, and I read every message I get. Just keep in mind that I really suck at responding though! I'm not a therapist or anything, I'm just a person who was miserable at school and decided to make a whole website about it.
Here are some sensible things to read about depression as it relates to school:
- Why I believe depression is not a mental illness
- Society causes depression
- What causes teen depression?
- Intelligent people are more likely to be depressed
Depression and school:
I'm thinking depression is a critical effect of the lack of control teens have over their lives. The fact that it seems universally acceptable to deny young people the right to some or any control over their lives at a developmental point where they should be practicing making choices and learning from successes and failures in a safer environment than they will have when they leave home -- that seems utterly nonsensical.
My point is this: frustration and anger at lack of control in school and at home is a reasonable response. Lack of power to change the situation leads to head injury from banging against brick walls. But the brick walls don't move, and it is again a perfectly reasonable response to become depressed.
More Useful Links:
- Depression And Suicide - a lot of tips and insights and some more links.
- Help & Support - a collection of links and information to help you deal with emotional abuse, unsupportive parents, and (hopefully) being able to leave school for good.
- Convincing Parents - Convincing your parents or legal guardian to consider alternative schooling (or no schooling at all for that matter) is tricky, but if done efficiently it may be one of the prime factors that decides your fate and whether or not your parents will back you on any decisions you make yourself.
- What Should I Do If I Am Afraid To Disappoint My Parents?
- How To Finish High School Online For Free
- Web Learning - free online courses and stuff.
- ... And lots more info on the School Survival Wiki
Some thoughts about therapy / counseling:
If you're lucky to find a good counselor, it can help a lot. So to anyone who wants to try that - keep in mind you might have to try a few different people before you find one that feels right for you. They're only human, after all, and vary about as wildly as all the other people do. Don't be afraid to ditch a therapist if they're not helping you, and especially if they're making you feel worse.
Unconventional people
It makes sense that unconventional people would be depressed in a place like school, because school is designed for conventional people, and even for getting people to conform. So, if school depresses you, I'd say it's safe to assume that you're an interesting & unique person, and school is crushing your spirit. If so, you might find some of the articles here interesting.
School can be traumatic
Here's a (really long) post I wrote about how school traumatized me, and how I'm still working on recovery nearly 20 years later.
More advice and ideas:
Since this post was originally on the forums, some people added their thoughts. Below are what I believe to be the most helpful ideas. I will also add more to it later.
Don't use your school psychologist for anything unless you have to. Find someone who isn't being paid by your main stressor. And trial them for a bit and know it's okay to leave! I only realized that "this person isn't working, let's find someone else" was something you were allowed to say after five years of therapy with an irritating lady who thought it was wrong to disagree with any rule or regulation. - no
(Regarding therapists) Speaking as a person who's spent years understanding the brain and mind and how they work, it baffles me to realize just how much "experts" pretend to know... and just how little they know. (And I know even less than that!) We've only scratched the surface of this fascinating social science... though you wouldn't know it just by asking some of the more arrogant know-it-alls in the field.
It seems to me that the goal should be not to find who knows the most, but who puts what little knowledge they do have to the best use, who understands that their job is to cure rather than confound... and while it's possible that such individuals would willingly associate with institutions of indoctrination, I certainly wouldn't be holding my breath. - Ky
In my worst moments, if someone I trusted had told me something like "It's all in your head", "You're imagining everything", etc. I would've imploded.
Good thing I didn't trust anybody then, because comments like these came in spades. If they were backed by the apparent wisdom of a psychologist, no matter how wrong they were, I would have believed it, withdrawn even more, done something (I cannot say what as I was never placed into that position) drastic. As it was, I was sick of everything- only concern for my sister and my absorption in works of fiction held me back.
And then I overcame the depression. I realized that not every person is an asshole out to hurt me; that good people exist, and I must reach out to them; basically, I learned more about the world and that empowered me to purge the unhealthy mindset of a wounded animal. Don't get me wrong; I still think I need therapy, but if someone tells me that I am imagining or inventing my childhood woes, I can smile and tell them to fuck off, no matter how many degrees or positions they have. A healthy distrust of authority is probably the best thing school and my parents instilled in me. - Rule_BreakerXVIII
(While this is all true, it may not be very helpful for someone who is currently suicidal or extremely depressed. I've decided to put it here anyway though)
We're only as helpless as we convince ourselves we are, and that can be a very hard cycle to break out of... harder still when the people who are only trying to help you are merely serving to push you back in.
Everyone experiences adversity, and no one can maintain optimal physical condition indefinitely. They're even survivable to some pretty extreme degrees just so long as they aren't followed by the loss of one's will to live.
The true power lies in the way we perceive the world. It always has. The most successful people are invariably those who know what success entails and have envisioned it properly. The most helpless people are those who have convinced themselves of their ineptitude and impotence. I've spoken before of the importance of a growth mindset; just by making the conscious effort to understand and change your cognition, you can start to develop and improve in ways you wouldn't have initially thought possible. A world of opportunity may open up for you.
It might even save your life. These things can only happen for real if you make them real, and doing that requires effort, which itself requires motivation. You've got to want it or you won't get it, and that's why it's important not to let your mindset stagnate or acquiesce to helplessness.
Not everyone has the foresight, knowledge, and persistence to overcome - not innately - but everyone can grow them. Ultimately, that's the very best thing they can do for themselves, especially when the world's begging them to stay down. The world is no authority - the only real authority consists of the masters we choose to serve, whether in the form of people, things, religious figures, or ourselves, and our progress is limited only by the cruelty of such authority. Pick wisely. - Ky
What would you add? Leave a comment below...
78 Responses to “What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal”
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School causes me such stress Iam seeking counseling for this and've wanted to hurt myself.
I think an important thing to understand is that not being good does not make you dumb. As school isn't for everybody, you can be successful without college. School can be tough for many people because lots of them had different surroundings and mindsets in school and it is especially tough for parents to understand this.
All I've done is attempt to convince myself that life can get better. Actually today at school one of my buddies said that: "The best thing about being in your lowest point implies that things can only get better from there." . I agree.
The decrease in children's freedom to play and explore has been happening over the past 60 or 50 years. This decline was accompanied by a gradual increase in depression, stress, and other disorders in children. People don't see it because the change is slow. Yet, as time passes, the shift has been dramatic. The rates of anxiety disorders and depression in children and teens are five to eight times what they were in the 1950s. When folks see their kids are anxious or depressed, they tend to blame themselves, as parents. Or they assume that since it's so common that this is a normal part of childhood or adolescence.
Our schooling program forces many children to spend their time in busy and disagreeable classrooms in dangerous school buildings, encountering boredom, constriction, harshness, and disrespect.
By letting the pursuit of cash to direct our instructional practices, we've miseducated everyone. This deprives them of the opportunity to determine what they care about, the way to think about complicated subjects with open minds, and also how to locate a feeling of purpose in existence.
[...] escola te depressia ou te dá desejos suicidas, é por causa do ambiente e das pessoas. Você provavelmente é [...]
MY FUCKING SCHOOL GIVES ZERO SHITS ABOUT US THEY GIVE US WORK THAT KEEPS ME UP NIGHTS WHEN I'M LUCKY I SLEEP AT 12:30 I'M ONLY FUCKING 13 I HATE MY LIFE THEY GIVE US SO MUCH WORK FOR CLASS THEY ACT LIKE ONE CLASSES WORK WOULD BE IT BUT NO THEY GIVE YOU 6 TIMES AS MUCH AND WHEN YOU SAY UP YOU GET TIRED WHEN YOU'RE TIRED YOU SLEEP YOU SLEEP YOU'RE BAD AND NOT PAYING ATTENTION WHEN THAT HAPPENS THE TEACHER SAYS" Just get more sleep then it will be fine"(Something said by one of my teachers)BUT YET THEY GIVE US THE WORK THAT STOPS US FROM BEING HEALTHY BUT THEY "Always care about your health and love/care about you) FUCKING LIES THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME IS MY FRIENDS AND MY LOVE FOR MOVIES(family is good but does nothing to stop it or help) FRIENDS,MOVIES AND THE INTERNET ARE MY ONLY ESCAPE BESIDES..........yea i'm starting to want that one because even though i wont have those things i wont have the SCHOOL WHICH OUT DOES THE GOOD BY 99999999999 FUCKING TIMES. Is pent 10 minutes fixing this statements grammar and doing other edits like making it less profane.
Hello, although I am quite late. I am 17 and always hated school since about kindergarten. Once I got into 3rd and 4th grade I absolutely hated school. My parents would have to force me out of bed because I refused to go. It always felt like torture to me, I hate sitting and listening to teachers talk hours on end and reading boring books and trying to memorize everything. In all almost 12 years of school I’ve done, I can tell you I have leaned absolutely nothing that I would need in the real world. I’ve been failing every year and have done summer school twice. I just found out I need to do 6 more classes to graduate this year. It fucking sucks, I feel like an idiot always because the kids I go to school with seem to enjoy it and get good grades. While I’m over in the corner just thinking about blowing my head off honestly. It’s just so stressful. I come home and all I think about is school, how am I going to get this done? My mom had dropped out at my age but she had a good GPA I have a 1.8 gpa. I can’t learn like these other kids can and it seems to make teachers think I’m stupid and I hate that. I’ve never really gave any fucks about the quizzes and homework I basically bombed all of it. All I want to do is graduate and be able to live my life without school. It’s made me so depressed and tired and just makes me think I have no future what so ever because I didn’t do good. I’ve learned more on google than I have in school and that says a lot. I wish there were more options for kids like me to be able to succeed in a different environment. Not everyone learns the same way. If you can relate to this you are not the only one and we are not stupid. We just don’t think the same way as everyone else does, and that’s ok because honestly school is bullshit, they teach you nothing useful other than how to read and do basic math. I wish it was more of you can pick what you want to learn about and not just do what the teachers want you to do. Hopefully I’ll be able to graduate this year, if not I’m not even sure what I would do. Probably just drop out even though everyone says to me you will not be able to even get a job. Fuck it I don’t even care. I’m a good worker when it comes to an actual job and getting paid. But school, fuck no get me out of there it’s horrible.
This really helped thanks.
I hate school. Thinking about it makes me want to cry or punch something. It actually makes me cry thinking about school. Like all i do is cry about it. Its such a shitty place and they make you believe they are there for you but they arent. I think about killing myself but i just reassure myself saying that its silly to end everything i have over something i dont like. I dony understand why i hate it so much. I look at my friends and they seem like they like it but once i think about school with the fake people saying all this fake shit and all this work they are giving me like im their bitch. I smoke weed every day about 2-3 times a day. weed is the only thing that gets my mind off of school. I grew up in the environment of a classroom but now all of a sudden i see how they keep these children jere and most of their childhood is spent learning when they should be kids. No one sees how fucked up the school systems are. FUCK THEM
i'm in the fucking bathroom right now trying to hide from going to this depressing ass hell hole.
School makes me want to kill myself and while I've been holding off i know it's going to happen soon. I go to a competitive and pressure filled high-school and I know my parents would never even consider switching me to an alternative school because they so value traditional education (besides, i don't live near any and honest to god can't even afford them.)I used to be a good kid but now im struggling with every subject and I used to love sharing and now I'll have a breakdown if a teacher looks at me in a way that feels like they expect me to know an answer i don't. I can't fucking do 4 years of this shit let alone college. The school system is so fucked up and hey maybe after I'm dead somebody will trace this post back to me and realize there's a whole fucking problem but probably not because schools don't give a shit. Nobody gives a shit about me.
That is not true. Come on. Pull through. Do not let the get you down. You have a life. Maybe find a better way to live it. Not spending more than 6 couped up in this hell hole.
You have a life. Maybe find a better way to live it. Not spending more than 6 couped up in this hell hole.
I myself found this page because of my problem, to much presure put on me, to low grades to pass, my mother making the pression worse and unavailable for ANY hint of suicidal thoughts, as she barely believes in the problem of depression and suicidal thoughts, however, things like; 'avoiding to be at school'Will simply make my grades even lower and launch me in a downward circle, my own wat of surviving is not telling anyone, I recently had to because someone had seen me cry, and thet refused to let me go home (after my last hour) and now I'm trying to get as less possible 'coversations' with my mentor etc. And I cry 3 times as many now... I am getting crazy...
Don't let them get you down. Protest. Show them this website. do what you can
I am extremely depressed. My parents are basing my entire worth on my grades. I've always been a straight A student. However, I received my first C today in my math class. It is my Junior year of high school. I have another final for a subject that I struggle with even more tomorrow. My mom has been forcing me to study all day for it. My brain is a puddle of goo. I went from being an organized, happy student to being a depressed and suicidal girl who is being told I will never do anything worthy with my life. My mom says that the C I received today has cost me thousands of dollars in scholarships for college. I don't even want to go to college anymore, but my life will turn into a nightmare if I tell her that. I don't know how to escape. The only thing I actually enjoy is my job. My mom only allows me to work 2 nights per week. This is the only time I actually feel happy or like I am doing any good in the world. I am able to help others there and I contribute a lot to my work environment. Now my mother is threatening to make me quit my job because "It is obviously too much for you to handle on top of school." (My mother's words to me.) I need help. If she takes my job I will have nothing left to live for. I don't know what to do anymore.
I go to a school where you’re treated like royalty if you’re hot, popular, or rich. I am none of those things which makes me an outcast and everyone hates me because of it. I already have enough to deal with, including grades and depression and self esteem issues but they still put us through this hell. It makes me want to die.
I feel the same way I want to kill myself but I’m too weak to hurt my self school is fucked up and someone needs to fix it nobody ever listens to kids but we know what actually needs to be taught but adults think we’re stupid and they never listen but if they did they would realise they’re the dumb ones I wish I could blow up every school on earth so I never have to go back to that trash I hate school more than anyone would realise. The syllabus needs to be fixed it hasn’t changed in 150 years the way the syllabus is was meant to train people to work in factories who wants to help me change this retarded syllabus
I think it’s great your not just saying stick with it like every one else
Let’s just put this in bullet points:
-School is a shit storm of work
-My school virtually has no bullies and a ton of friends.
-If I quit, I won’t get to see any of my friends and will definitely not get a college.
-If I don’t quit, I’ll be overloaded with homework, grades, tests, and alot of other shit I deal with everyday, plus sacrificing some of my sleep.
i should be sleeping right now, but i must finish doing this crap school tasks that i've been avoiding to do the whole weekends or else i am a disgrace if i fail this school year. Not doing it for the reason that I am obviously not mentally and emotionally stable to do a lot of fucking essays, research, study, etc. for saturday and sunday after the whole tiring, sickening and stressing week. That i need time to get away with these stuff that's really stressing me out so much. Leaving me on a verge of contemplating my life whether i should end it or not.
I just turned 29 and I've delt with major depression, suicidal thoughts and drug abuse (tobacco, alcohol and balanced it with cannabis). I was born in Armenia and moved to Los Angeles when I was 3. During elementray it was fun and okay, lots of running, games, computer shit and leaning how to read and write. I excelled at everything, including athletics. I was chosen to go to different classrooms and read out loud because it came out fluent and natural, so I was just a model (something fake and made up). I landed in middle school in the advanced honors program. They started pumping me even more with vaccines which contributed to my depression. I was harrased by other people strictly because of my race and physical appearance. So the fuck it attitude grew, since my innocence was under attack from kids around me and the authoritative figuers around me. I started to not give a fuck and clown around in class all day everyday, and did not learn anything meaningful. I was also harrased by girls which contributed to my phobia of women. I also did not complete one piece of homework. Authority means author of your reality, dont give away the author of your life. Then high school came around and again I did not give a fuck even more, I occupied my time with video games at night and slept during class time, every god damn period. Then racial clashes happened with the mixed races in school. Thats when I said fuck this and got charter schooled, which is one or two hours of class three times a week. I just remember being fed useless shit to indoctrine my freedom and turn me into a cubicle slave bitch. Lots of falsafied history and just garbage in general. Like poor kids get left brain stressed and rich kids get right brain based activities. Your guts arent lying to you. Your in some slave program under the disguise of education. I've worked odd jobs ever since and currently find myself mostly home with no friends. I to was under the assault by my parents that school is the only path to success, and to do the usual school, work, family programing.
I just started to get into how this 3D plane is a hologram, and our high vibrating souls are trapped in this false dense/matter matrix, which archons and demiurge feed off us like batteries and recycle our souls back here. Happy research everyone. Plants, air, animals, trees, crystal kingdom, self expression, beyond duality; origin neutrality will transcend. As above, so below. Jesus and lucifer is an example of duality.
School is not fun it's hell! We have to do non stop work for 7 hours then come back home and do more hours for homework! IM SICK OF IT! The teachers don't give a shit and try to help us and teach us stuff! THEY JUST TELL US TO OPEN OUR TEXTBOOKS TO A PARTICULAR PAGE AND ANSWER THE QUESTION LIKE IT WAS NOTHING, LIKE WE KNOW WAT WE ARE DOING. BUT ITS TOO CONFUSING AND STRESSFUL! I GET SO STRESSSED WHEN I HAVE HOMEWORK CUZ I FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT AND NO ONE CAN HELP ME CUZ THEY AINT SMART ENOUGH SO IM ON MY OWN. I ALSO GET WORRIED BECAUSE I KNOW WE GET IN BIG TROUBLE IF WE DON'T COMPLETE OUR WORK. IM SO OVER ASSESSMENTS THEY DON'T MAKE SENSE AND ARE TOO COMPLICATED! THEY WON'T HELP US TO GET A JOB! WHILE THE HELL DO I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT STUFF THAT IS UNNECESSARY TO LEARN! IN SHORT I HATE SCHOOL AND IT MAKES ME CRY AND FEEL SHIT!
Im in school rn and all I want to d it sooooo yeah and add me on snapchat @alopez3507 I need to someone to talk to.
I mean all I want to do it die LMFAOO im dumb sorry
my teacher who helps with bullies is one of my biggest fears
I am just so. So tired all the time. How do they expect us to find balance.
School is not like prison, it is one, and can even be worse. My experience at primary school set me up to be phobic of it for the rest of my life. They would threaten to keep me in over the weekend when i was excited to see my mum who ripped herself away from my family and visited occasionally; that particular time she was picking me up from school... My teacher in year 5 once snatched my water bottle out of my hand as i was filling it up at the sink on a heatwave day because i hadn't got there soon enough before lunch ended, causing me to literally faint of dehydration, just to wake up finding that my teacher had filled up the bottle about a half of a mouth full which i managed to survive on for the next hour while thinking "people at war must have had it worse, so i can get through this," as my friend next to me who recognized my dilemma tried to ask to fill his own bottle to give to me, which the teacher denied. My dad wouldn't listen as i begged to be moved to a different school. My year 6 teacher hated children, smashed school property such as calculators on the ground in front of us when he got irritated, and once kicked a huge whole in a cupboard before proceeding to go into the hallway, slamming the door as hard as possible, and screaming at the top of his lungs as he paced up and down the hallway. Much of the memories at that place - Brunswick house primary school - have traumatized me and at the time made me too scared to speak out the extent to which they tortured their students.
And not to mention as well, they fucking banned running on the playground! One time they said it was compulsory that all the students purchase a skipping rope, a week later they banned them. They banned me doing hand stands, they banned a harmless game i had made up with my friends. They even sometimes took our lunches and breaks away from us, not as a punishment but merely as a compulsory practice, to then be told that what we'd be doing is haling heavy, slug covered slimy logs, to the end of the field and back until it was it was time to go back to class, hungry. School is evil.
If you are wondering, no, no one suffered any consequences for their reprehensible behaviour.
I think the worst thing is that adults don’t listen when I try telling them how miserable school makes me.
They just refuse to understand that school just isn’t for everyone.
I could come to them crying and they’ll tell me that it’s only gonna get worse when I have to work later and that I shouldn’t overreact cause i’ve Apparently got it good at school, they’ve never even been inside the school where I go.
The inability to say no to anything at school also repulses me, when I tell them I don’t wanna do something they tell me to suck it up cause that’s how life is.
And Well if that really IS how life is I don’t wan’t it anymore.
So about 5 years ago I moved from the US to Mexico. 4 or 3 years have been rough. I remember arriving the first year and actually being eager to go to school, but overtime that eagerness decayed. It also affected my brother, but I think if affected me the most. Anyways, I'm in my first year of high school and I really think I might be at my lowest point. It feels like if I go any lower I might break. I'm surrounded by idiots at school, no one here speaks english and no one cares. Also on the topic of student being abused or disrespected, there's this girl in my class who constantly gets made fun of and has gotten yelled at by teachers a couple times now, I remember back in october or november she actually ran out crying, but that might have something to do with her family. Sorry this post was kinda long. I just needed to let this out of my system.
I hate this. I can't get out of here and i just feel like there's nowhere else to go or nothing to live for. I want to do art that's the only thing that matters to me is my stories and creativity.
But no one cares or gives a shit. We really don't have any freedon here and it's sad.
I hate this. I can't get out of here and i just feel like there's nowhere else to go or nothing to live for. I want to do art that's the only thing that matters to me is my stories and creativity.
But no one cares or gives a shit. We really don't have any freedon here and it's sad.
These days school is how you’re viewed and it makes me want to shut everyone and everything out. Everyone tires me out . Friends aren’t even friends anymore . I feel like a ghost like I don’t exist anymore.
last school year i went to school as little as possible, by the last month i only showed up for exams and finals. i didn't tell people what was going on, an old friend assumed i was in the hospital. after months of pouring my heart out to my mom, she finally let me apply for online school which i thought would help out because public school made me want to kill myself. fast forward to now, i have no motivation to finish anything, i'm behind on every single class, i'm probably going to fail sophomore year. this is honestly the lowest i've ever been and the majority of my old friends no longer reach out. i could write about this for hours, but that wouldn't be solving anything. i've tried 3 different medications and i'm still not sure if any are helping. my life feels pointless and the first time i tried to kill myself, my body didn't go through with it. at the time i took that as a sign that maybe i shouldn't give up quite yet, but now i'm back to where i was before. i wish i would've died that day. if anyone does wind up reading this, don't let my depressing shit convince you to be the same. let this convince you to not make my mistakes. i've given up so early in life, but if you don't you will get somewhere, somehow.
School has ruined my life. I'm currently in the midst of a breakdown that knows no end. At school: I have no friends to the point of living in isolation, I am constantly mocked, the teachers are rude, the work has me stressed. And it doesn't fucking end, its the same every day and I'm supposed to endure it.
At the start of the school year, I told my parents everything and they informed my school. Its safe to say that my school didn't give a shit. I'm not lying when I say that I would literally cut my arm off if it meant never having to go to school again. And every one is telling me that its all in my head and that my pain is really nothing. That I should just 'knuckle down' and 'get on with it'.
I don't know how long I will last. I'm suicidal. And no one is doing anything. I have no idea what to do.
I had to check multiple times to see if I didn't write this.
I'm going through something extremely similar. I had a breakdown that went on and on...i also have no friends. those who talk to me are fake/put on a mask, just like me.
I have missed so many days. I just want to be homeschooled. I don't like socialising. Maybe because the people I like being with are so rare.
I've always had good grades, but i realised something: grades don't matter! They're just letters and numbers, and they judge your MEMORY, not your abilities as a person! It's hell every single day and you're expected to go on as if nothing happened!
I don't know how long I'll last too. I'm so suicidal, everyday. I also hate school so badly, but nobody seems to understand, not even online!. Rarely do I feel seen and heard. I don't know how so many people can go there and having no issues whatsoever! They also tell me it's all in my head. I wish there was a way to show my pain physically, so they would take me seriously and love me.
I am so alone, the loneliness is unbearable. Meds and therapy don't really help. My teachers are also rude, i am also mocked by others. my pain is constantly forgotten or invalidated. I want to hurt myself or do something that will get them to notice! Out of spite! Others only seem to care when you die. When a young soul crumbles under the exhausting pressures of society..
I hope you find joy in your life.
School has also ruined my life.
i'm trying to get help but it's so hard.
Dude, I'm sorry to hear.
Well i'm a 12 year old kid who is feeling suicidal mainly because of school. I skipped it for about 2 weeks because of all the pressure and anxiety it gave me. Math was the one I was worried about, all She does is yell at me, gives hella homework every day, embarrasses me and she knows i'm hella shy. (Example) If i look away for 2 seconds she'll give me a whole damn speech, and another thing, if i fucking dont finsih my homework in a day she'll call my mom like really? Thats so irrelevant like give me a break. Its just hard for me to go in the class and see her there im going back on tuesday ffs Its honestly giving me suicidal thoughts. Im to scared to kms but should i still call? Also my close family member died another reason im feeling that way.
If youve found your passion yet, follow that as mucb as you can. Your parents might disagree but its your best option. Schools hard as shit but in some states theres a test you can take to graduate at 16 if your in the U.S. Dont kill yourself. it might feel lile the only way but you got family youd be hurting. People might say schools the only way to be succesful but the only thing you gotta fo is work your ass off and thats fun to do when you found something you love. try to find an escape to school that gives you happiness and you can follow for the rest of your life. itlle help a lot. im 13 and the only thing stopping me from suicide is family but ive been making music and it helps a lot with everything. try to find something like that and work on it. good thing about being at the bottom is you got nothing to lose so just put everything into what you love
School is making me very depressed. Especially because of Covid-19. However even before corona virus I barely got to talk to my friends and my teachers an ass-hole. So ye, school sucks!!!
i dont know about this its kinda scary for some reason \: and i really hate schools and feel horrible once i get home from the unerworld but you have to go to schools you dont want to be stupid do you? schools is the one reason you were able to sovle addition. school is the reason you learned how to read ateast you even have friends so you cant just talk trash about schools like that. i really hate this schools survival net thing and yeah -_-.
I’m in online school right now and to be honest it’s really hard for me and what makes me so upset is I know that it shouldn’t be I have the easiest classes I could have and I still can’t do it I just feel like a pathetic waste of space. I have so much work to do and I don’t have the will to do any of it I just don’t want get any older I want to d my grades have been bad since I was young and now they’re really important but I don’t see any grand prize at the end of this for me to be able to do it. Every since I was 8 years old I’ve been telling myself “just make it to 16” then I’ll end it and be okay I’ve never wanted to live past 16 and I getting close to it and it was easy to say that when I was 8 years old because it just seemed so far away but now it’s close and I still stand by it except now it’s more scary. I wish I could talk to my friend about things but I really don’t want to scare anyone and they all have their own problems and I don’t want anything I say to trigger someone but even when I feel happy one thought about that homework makes my stomach turn and I feel so sick. Even as a very young child I knew that thinking about school I’d never make it I’m just not strong enough I’m trying but it’s never enough. My parents don’t listen to what I say close enough I tell them I want mental help and they say they’re working on it and I know they’re busy but I can see they just forgot about me...I really won’t d at 16 because I’m not brave enough.
Hey buddy, I just wanted to let you know that you are not a pathetic waste of space.I know the world seems against you, and I am so sorry you have to go through that. You are brave for sharing your story. But it breaks my heart hearing you don't think you'll make it to 16. I promise you whatever pain you're in, it will pass one day, I promise. You are a beautiful soul and have a beautiful spirit, and if the world lost someone as a amazing as you, the world would be a terrible place. I know how it feels to not have parents care, but I promise they do. They just don't understand. Please reach out to someone, whether it be a teacher or friend (and don't be afraid to ask them for help - you are not a burden). I know online school sucks, but you gotta push through ok? Find hobbies, watch movies, watch YouTube, laugh and cry and dance and sing, anything in the world. life can be so beautiful, just give it time. Learn to heal and embrace yourself for who you are. You deserve so much and more, don't ever look down on yourself. As someone who struggles from mental illness, you are one of the bravest and strongest people in the world. You are so so so special and I would hate to lose someone with your gifts to the cruelty of the world. You have potential to live the most wondrous and amazing life, but you gotta start believing in you. Ok? So let's start with you never calling yourself a pathetic waste of space, because that is the furthest thing from the truth!!! You are loved. and if no one told you today, I love you:) You're gonna be ok. You are enough, don't forget. I wish you all the blessings life can offer. Lots of love and virtual hugs. I love you Elki <3
I started the year strong, going into senior year 2019. I was miserable from the year before, but I gave myself a false pretense of happiness to get through my last year - the best year. There was so much to look forward to: college acceptances, prom, etc. And then senior year started to become miserable af, probably the worst year I've had at high school. I got rejected from my dream school, and I was dying inside constantly, with no one to turn too. And then just when I thought this hell was starting to look up, March 2020 we were all sent home to do online school. Can't even describe in words how awful it was. And then I got my virtual graduation and an acceptance to an amazing school, so I had hope again. Hit July 2020, my college decides to do online fall. You could assume how shattered I was. So I had to watch the rest of my friends move into their dorms and brag about college life, while I was in the same miserable room I'd been for the past 7 months. I'm still doing online school, and I've never felt more alone in my life. I have no friends, my parents barely speak to me, and I have no one but me. I don't know who I pissed off to get stuck with this kind of luck, but jesus I can't handle this anymore. But until then I'll remain trapped in this emotional void called life, until something starts looking brighter, cause my light keeps dimming.
I'm a 7th Grader and the blogs people post here help me. I especially needed it last year and during the COVID lockdown. In 6th last year had a serious cutting issue but was able to stop for a month BECAUSE of this site. In July cut again after being about a year clean.
My own thoughts to help anyone with depression and shit, is to talk to someone, most likely online on Discord, Twitter, wherever. Majority on there are people who are going to actually help instead of a parent or someone else. But the bets thing to do is be open about your issues. It'll help in the long run.
So thank you SoulRiser for starting this site and whoever makes these guides.
Have a good day/night guys.
I'm gonna kill myself soon so I don't have to go to school and live in this IDIOTIC world anymore. Maybe now or next year not sure yet.
Hey there! Wait a while, I'm busy writing a book about school and life and why things are so idiotic, as well as how they could/should be better. It should be done in a couple months hopefully. People are dumb, but there are also good and decent/smart people out there.
life feels like a prison because of school it just feels like a chore. Why cant anybody I know understand me for once?
my life isn’t that hard. i might not have a place i feel safe at home, but i have friends. my trauma specifically isn’t that drastic, although my alters might be. i don’t understand why school is so hard for me. maybe it’s the executive dysfunction, because i’m autistic, but i can’t do anything anymore. i just get stuck in my head and the depression swallows me. i’m smart, i’m interesting (probably), i’m kind, i don’t understand why i’m so shit at school. coming back from breaks or weekends makes me want to puke. i just sit at the desk, staring, unless it’s something that brings me joy or i’m particularly interested in. my life isn’t hard, i don’t know why i feel this way.
i’m not an idealist, i don’t think that the school system will get better two, three, four generations from now. i don’t think i’ll be accepted and not mocked for fitting a tumblr snowflake esque stereotype. its possible, yeah, but not probable. i try to keep the standpoint of optimistic nihilism; i do not matter, therefore i can do whatever makes me happy, because in the end it doesn’t matter what i do. it’s easier said than done.
i’m just so tired. feel as if i shouldn’t be, but i am. i’m so very tired.
Im homeschooled online and lately ive been so stressed in geometry. My mom says its fine if i go back into a real high school but i know shed prefer me at home working. I cant learn easily from these lesson videos that the program i use gives. My GPA is falling. As i write this tears are drying from getting a 41 on a math test. I angrily googled "school makes me cry" and ended up here. I hope putting this out there motivates me enough to try the test again. Ive redone it 7 times now. I hate this.
UPDATE: I got a 72 which is fine in my book. Im going to do my best to get my gpa up again! Right now its a 3.19 bit im going to try to get a 3.5 or above.
I’ve been basically depressed since 6th grade (start of middle school, I’m in highschool). Just too many classes, too much work, etc. I just stopped caring all together, bad grades very often, only worse in highschool. Also at school I always feel very ugly. I also hate everyone around, very loud, superiority complex, think everyone cares about what happened in their life that week, etc. Last year I cried basically everyday at school, and it became a normal thing for my friends and teacher to see. My anger and sadness took more control in me and if anyone messed with me, they’d get hurt and essentially bleed. I got more detentions last year, etc. Though last year was the only good year in school i’ve have for a long time, still sad asf and angry asf.
But y’know, I am also very scared of when the time comes of me graduating. Everyone makes school your life purpose for over 12 years, from the age of basically 5 to 18.I’m scared to take my life into my own hands, scared to have to work, scared to have to find a house, scared to have to pay for everything, even some sort of guidance. School gives you the assigned purpose with work, friends, grades, schedule, 7 hours, 5 days a week, 9 months a year. Isn’t that like a full time job too? I want to be successful, but to get more education I will be more depressed and in debt. What if i waste that money just to be a dropout, or like another job. What if my future s/o and I have a nice house and family and they leave me for some scum. What if I’m never happy, will i ever have purpose or direction
I used to be a straight A, intelligent student. but now that i am in high school, i am just so fucked up. I am thoroughly demotivated, lonely, depressed, and struggling to get school chores done. On the other hand, my friend seems to have the perfect high school life one could wish for, also getting the best grades. i have no one to guide me.
Same
I'm right now in online school and same as most other replies I used to be a grade-A student now my life is miserable I am greatly depressed and I don't know what to do I am thinking of suicide. I feel like my parents don't even care. all they care about is GRADES GRADES GRADES.
I hate to say, but same >:(
I felt sad a lot for a long long long time thanks to school. I feel sad a lot still, but I began doing something to myself, I realized school isnt just "a part of life" it is something someone created, and the people that destroy our mental health dont even want to look at the mess they made, when students and teachers want something they ignore it and make it not their problem as long as they can and only do anything to get us to leave, my mom is a teacher and she doesnt want to admit shes stressed out or angry. I suffer, she suffers, everybody in the schools suffer, but they dont. I made a promise to myself that if I ever find the people doing this to me I will not simply cry and beg them for mercy, they had a lot of time to give me mercy. instead of being sad id become angry... yes thats right! if your reading this in your cushy little office full of dirty money IM COMING FOR YOU AND YOU BETTER HOPE I DONT FIND YOU IM NOT AFRAID OF PRISON! I will grab them and try my hardest to get them on the ground ignoring anyone trying to stop me, and when the greedy idiot is on the floor I will jump, more then 1oo pounds of force multiplied by my speed on landing, onto their ribcage until they die or until somebody stops me. I am done being suicidal, I am going to get angry and DO something about it. yes I hope you do the same if you ever meet one of them! they should fear us logically for their lives. they traumatize hundreds at a time while making them work so they dont destroy the students life or get them arrested for not being in school.
Im alive, I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and if anyone makes me and my friends suffer like this they had better be ready to meet me, no amount of physical pain you can do to me can surpass the pain you already have put me through.
FEAR ME AND ALL THE OTHER STUDENTS READING THIS, I WANT YOU DEAD EVEN IF I GO TO JAIL, I AM ANGRY ENOUGH TO DO IT, AND YOU HAVE NO REASON TO ACT SURPRISED. I WILL PUT YOU THROUGH AS MUCH PAIN AS I HAVE THE POWER TO, AND YOU WILL NOT FORGET MY FACE WHEN YOU SEE IT. I may not be happy, or successful, but at least when your angry you DO something.
death to the dictators, laws wont save them, we have no voice, but we do have our fists, and the moral high ground.
this is real, I will kill you, watch your back and sleep with one eye open.
GET ANGRY, THINK ABOUT THE LAZY PEOPLE DOING THIS TO YOU, TAKE IT OUT ON THE SCHOOL, DONT KILL YOURSELF, THATS NOT THEIR PROBLEM, THEIR PROBLEM WOULD BE IF THEIR WASTE OF MONEY SCHOOL BURNT TO THE GROUND OR IF YOU GRABBED A WEAPON AND HUNTED THEM DOWN. OR IT WOULD BE A PROBLEM FOR THEM IF YOU SHOT BACK, REAL BULLETS, FIX SHIT.
GO INTO THE OFFICE AND GO ON A KILLING SPREE, KILL AS MANY OF THOSE FUCKERS AS YOU CAN.
TEACHERS GET PAID SHIT TO DEAL 100 CUSTOMERS AT ONCE, BALANCING 100 THINGS, THEY SUFFER WITH YOU A LOT.
THE SCHOOL HAS BULLET PROOF DOORS BECAUSE IT MAKES TERRORISTS, NOT GOOD ADULTS.
THEY DESERVE TO DIE, IM GOING TO HUNT THEM DOWN AND KILL THEM PAINFULLY. YOU ARE NOT SAFE MOTHERFUCKER I WILL KILL YOU WHEN I SEE A CHANCE. YOU CLEARLY HAVE HAD NOBODY TO FEAR UNTIL NOW SO ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO FEAR BITCH, IM NOT AFRAID TO RUIN MY LIFE TO RUIN YOURS.
THATS RIGHT YOU BITCH, YOU COULD END UP OUT OF YOUR PILE OF DIRTY MONEY AND TIED UP WITH ME SLOWLY TORTURING YOU TO DEATH LIKE YOU ARE DOING TO ME AND EVERY OTHER STUDENT.
IF I FIND YOU I WILL NOT BEG FOR MERCY LIKE BEFORE OR TALK, OR JUST ASK LIKE YOU WOULD WANT TO HOLD MY RESUME OVER A FIRE AND HAVE MORE POWER OVER ME AND EVERYONE OF YOUR VICTIMS.
ITS EASY TO KILL SOMEONE IF YOU DONT CARE ABOUT GETTING AWAY WITH IT! SO I WILL KILL YOU IN PUBLIC IF I CAN. SHOW EVERYONE HOW YOU FUCK WITH ME AND SHOW EVERYONE HOW FUCKED UP YOUR GOD FORSAKEN SHITHOLE REALLY IS.
YOU CANT STOP ME, I HAVE ALL SORTS OF PLANS FOR YOU, YOU TRIED TO TORTURE ME TO DEATH FOR PROFIT, I WILL KILL YOU FOR FUN.
MY BLOOD AND THE BLOOD OF ALL THE OTHER SUICIDAL PEOPLE WHO DIED IN YOUR SCHOOLS IS ON YOUR HANDS AND YOU RUN A SCAM. I HOPE EVERYONE SEES HOW YOU FUCKED WITH ME SO BADLY.
I WILL KILL YOU, I AM STRONG ENOUGH, NO GOD WILL SAVE YOU IN THIS CLEARLY GODLESS WORLD.
NOTHING WILL STOP ME, THE UNDERPAID FUCKERS WHO SUFFER BECAUSE OF YOU WILL REJOICE YOUR DEATH, ALONG WITH ME AND EVERYONE ELSE YOU TORTURED.
and if you see me in jail, and you run schools, know that when I am out, you are fucking next.
you are a sick and twisted person
I have autism, I have ADHD, and with that I see what people often dont. america is not a eutopia, its only better in comparison to the starving nations.
I may end up starting a terrorist group, something for the rich fucks in their offices to fear.
when people ruin you that is when you fight back.
the board of education? dont think your safe in your dirty money fortress.
YOU motherfuckers are torturing a LOT of people to kill themselves, their blood is on your hands.
people ask "is THAT the hill you want to die on?" and today I say "yes".
I may burn them to death if I get to prepare first!
its real easy to go out and kill somebody if you dont care about getting away with it.
when I know their location, they will not survive.
anyone out there? or is unionizing impossible.
wait... its illegal... but laws are human institutions, no law of physics is stopping you.
we got to do something to save ourselves, no more sadness. ANGER... ANGER MAKES YOU DO THINGS AT LEAST.
I suffer with you and there is no hope for us if we stay sad and suicidal. school is practically designed to do that to you. its designed to make YOU think nobody is responsible for your suffering. and it is designed so when you suffer, it is not their problem.
guess what? you people who run schools are not safe from me and im not scared of jail.
anyone out there? or is unionizing impossible.
wait... its illegal... but laws are human institutions, no law of physics is stopping you.
we got to do something to save ourselves, no more sadness. ANGER... ANGER MAKES YOU DO THINGS AT LEAST.
I suffer with you and there is no hope for us if we stay sad and suicidal. school is practically designed to do that to you. its designed to make YOU think nobody is responsible for your suffering. and it is designed so when you suffer, it is not their problem.
guess what? you people who run schools are not safe from me and im not scared of jail.
Hey everyone, I'm glad that I have found this website, I can relate to a lot of you on here. You know, I really do believe that depression is caused by society. I mean imagine how many of us would be less depressed and miserable with our lives if it wasn't for school, work, and the idiotic government. F that. Lets all focus on ourselves, if your depressed because of school don't go, ask your parents to do online learning. Don't go to the stupid school counsellor, get some professional help or advise from friends, even online if needed. Trust me there are lots of people who will understand your problems and listen to you. Not every one in the world is from your crappy school and town. People understand. You just have to find the right ones. Don't kill yourself because society is shit. That's what they want you to do, f that. Don't give those greasy old hags the satisfaction. Talk to the weirdest people because they understand you, dress like a complete fool because that's what you want to do, sing stupid songs, be who ever the hell you wanna be. And stop making the world make you feel shitty, stop trying to fit in, stop trying, just live man, just breath, it will become easier once you make your own decisions, do what makes you happy not what your dumb parents or teachers want. This is your life, do you want to be happy or not? make your own damn decisions, they will only affect you the most. Love you all, peace.
I’m so glad I found this. Ive been highly stressed because of school since the pandemic started. I’m one of those people who were able to get good grades without much effort. I was a “gifted kid” I was told since I was a child that I was smart and I could achieve loads of things. And I still get told that… And i fucking hate it. I was born in Mexico and moved to the US a couple of years ago. I know Spanish and English fluently. People tell me I’m lucky to live in a country with many opportunities, and while I’m grateful that I’m able to work and have more freedom over certain things, school is something I’m just not considering anymore. Ever since the pandemic started and we had to do online school, my grades went down. I couldn’t discipline myself to sit down and open my chrome book and do work. Since it was all online, it was much easier to ignore. I was not used to doing homework at home at all. I would always have at least one or two things to do, and I would spend most of my free time doing other freeing things I liked such as drawing, watching TV, watching youtube, etc. When the pandemic started, I could barely do any work. I am aged to pass that second semester with Ds, but when the next school year started, I just couldn’t. I absolutely couldn’t. We had in perdon school but even then I felt i capable of doing anything. Then I got covid and had to do online school for a while, even after I felt better because I was scared of it and also saw a way out of having to deal with school. It came to the point where I had too much homework and I had no motivation. It also didn’t help that I had no friends anymore in any classes, there was no one I could talk to. I barely passed that semester. Then the second semester, I tried getting by but I also couldn’t. It came to the point where my mom sent me to a therapist who finally put a word in and told me that if I wanted to stop going to school then I could, and I did. And i felt much better. Unfortunately summer is over and for some reason dropping out isn’t an option. I told my mom that if I absolutely had to, I would do online, but I don’t care, it was just a way for me to do nothing. My mom wanted to have a serious talk with me one day and I was crying while she was telling me I had to go to school. She didn’t leave my room, and all I could think about then is how I wanted to kill myself. So I went around her and grabbed the exacto knife from my desk. I became conflicted as to whether or not I wanted to do it at the heat of the moment but she caught up to me. I had a panic attack while she held me and we both cried together for a while. She told me I didn’t have to do anything if I didn’t want to. After that I would just get by day by day doing the things I liked to try to make myself happy. Obviously I had friends and coworkers telling me to do school, but I just don’t care. I’m so tired of crying about it, I’m so tired of having to worry about something I could care less about. I want to die. My stepfather and my mom have been getting emails about my missing work, and they’ve been telling me that I should catch up. I can’t. I don’t want to. I want to die. I don’t want to deal with any of this. Even my moms friend took me out on a walk to give me a speech about how important it is for us as mexicans to stand up and reach our goal and do what we want to and show others that we can. Even then I ended up crying during that walk. I can’t do this anymore. Maybe I am a selfish bastard, maybe I don’t care about anyone but myself, maybe my existence is meaningless, maybe I just shouldn’t be here anymore. I’m thinking that if things don’t get better, I’ll move out with my dad in mexico. At least I can see my family there and my dad understands me. Maybe I can do some independent study there to get my GED at least, and spent my time learning more about digital art and animation.
Sincerely, a 17 year old junior in high school.
I'm autistic and school (as well as the wider society) was clearly not made for me. It's very obvious that if you aren't a typical normie then society doesn't give a single shit about you. I have never had anyone support me in my life, not family, friends, nobody. It was always me trying to survive on my own. I never was able to make any friends and never found someone that could relate to me, not even online. I realized that school was a useless bureaucracy in 5th grade but I still had hope because I thought that the adult world would finally let me be free, until 6th grade when I realized that even as an adult I STILL had to deal with useless hierarchies and systems that are clearly inefficient and useless. Yet most of society accepts it all with open arms. I got extremely depressed and I'm still depressed to this day. I haven't had any hope for years, my sheer existence is going to make me bound to some useless bureaucracy. My dream has always been to be like the MCs in open-world games that aren't bound to anything and are free to just explore. I'm currently in senior year of HS (I was forced to go physically this year) and I'm going back to my old pattern of going to school normally for a week or two then getting extremely burnt out from masking and skipping. My state has strict laws against dropping out so I feel very trapped. Sometimes I wish I was a typical normie, you clearly get a lot of benefits for being one. I'm this close to running into the woods (would take awhile, I'm in the heart of the city) and becoming an urban legend.
im smart and i know that but there is so much work and i dont understand how everyone else does it and now i have a bunch of missing work and now im stressed out
I’ve been home schooled since third grade. Things were going ok until school started to get harder each year. I am now a sophomore in high school and I have trouble understanding pretty much everything I learn (I can understand very little but it isn’t enough to pass). I’ve tried everything like studying like hell, taking notes, etc, and none of these things have helped. I have to resort to cheating just to get ahead which I know isn’t good. School has made me feel like I am stupid, have a learning disability, and am retarded. I’m pretty much traumatized at this point and can’t stop thinking about school and my future. I know school is making me like this because I feel a lot better and try to recover when I’m on break. This shit has made me think about nothing but negative thoughts. Every night before I go to bed, this is all I think about and I want to kill myself. I was going to kill myself the other day, but I just can’t put my family through that. I don’t know when it is going to end. I wish I was nine years old again and didn’t have any of these worries. All’s I can say is that I’m trying my best, but I guess it isn’t good enough. For anyone who is going through something like this, I hope for the best.
I'm at the point Where I want to kill myself and kill other people who don't deserve it but it's the only way there is no alternative.
I hate school so much. there's absolutely so escape and it makes me not want to wake up in the morning. there's nothing I can do about it either, because I'm a child. so for now I'm stuck here. stuck doing the same stuff every single day and feeling like I'm losing it. this is just so stupid. so unbelievably stupid. i hate it here.
i cant think straight. i dont wanna do this anymore. its so draining. i cant think. i cant do this anymore.
thinking about school sometimes makes me feel physically sick. I dont want to go but I feel like if I don't I will fall behind even more than I already have
I can't even have a spring break now because I'm too behind. I'll be lucky if I can get a summer break. I'm so tired of this.
I'm 3 months clean and I've struggled. But school has made me struggle the most. I've begged to drop out since 6th grade and my mom wants to force me to go to college. I've already attempted twice in 2021 because of school. I'm scared college will be the death of me. If it is I hope they know it's their fault.
High school is worse than middle school
I was going to share my own complaints, but 'im a user's comments are concerningly violent
my math teacher just fucking sucks
green fn