Social skills outside school

Where Will I Learn Social Skills Outside of School?

People often ask things like "If you get homeschooled, where will you learn social skills?", as if school is the only place on earth you can learn how to interact with other people.

Q: "If children didn't go to school, how would they socialize?" - Social variant of the inept minor argument

Answer: This argument is based on the assumption that children are incapable forming relationships outside of a certain building. School can allow socialization but children can also socialize outside of school.

A family member asked my wife, "Aren't you concerned about his (our son's) socialization with other kids?" My wife gave this response: "Go to your local middle school, junior high, or high school, walk down the hallways, and tell me which behavior you see that you think our son should emulate." – Manfred B. Zysk

• Yeah, sitting in row and listening to the teacher creates real good social skills. The only thing that would be better for social skills is if you stopped contact between different ages, oh wait they already do that. - Kirby
• You could look for local homeschool gatherings. Some people like to take there kids to learn together. - KittyKatBlack
• honestly, I used to be homeschooled and I thought the same thing about social skills, but in reality I was a lot more outgoing in the days of homeschooling. now in school I spend most of the day clammed up and miserable. I'm always so stressed out that I can't really think about anything but the workload, and my social life is the last thing on my mind. then of course I'm afraid the teacher will eat me for talking... really you're going to be the same person either way, you'll just be happier homeschooled! and as long as you already have a couple friends, or join some sort of group that has people in it, you'll be fine. - Hayley44

Socialization is the process of learning to interact appropriately with other members of society. It sounds like a dirty word to me, something bad, but many people think it's good and fear that if they home school their kids will not be socialized well. To me it sounds like breaking people in -- breaking their spirits -- for conformity.

How to interact with people is a type of knowledge. You can learn it like anything else. You don't need to go to school. You could read a book about it. Or in this case a good source is TV where you can see how people treat each other. Or perhaps even better you can go outside, you can meet people, you can observe your parents, etc

Another issue is that this is parent-centric. what's the parent doing deciding if his child needs more socialization? if your child wants to home school (after hearing your advice, which should be in favor) then start home schooling. if you're worried about socialization, let your child know what you think he might be missing. if child finds he has a problem -- say he tries to make some friends but fails -- then *child* can decide what he wants to do about that (taking into account your advice). child can decide he'd like to try school to improve his social skills if he wants to and he values improving them and he thinks school will help. and he can do something else if he prefers that. this is called "freedom" and it's also a more effective way to learn -- people learn better when they are in control and follow their own interests and try their own ideas about how to learn (they also learn better with lots of good suggestions, many of which undoubtedly will be followed).

the real thing you can't get at home is being beaten up by bullies. and teased for being different. and hazed. and that intense pressure to start making progress with the opposite sex and go on dates and go to dances. and the pressure to be cool, and to have friends. you'll also miss out on this culture that expects you to defer to authority and not think independently. a culture where an 18 year old can be expected to ask permission to go to the bathroom -- they aren't free to go where they please. the teachers enforce it by punishing people who displease them. but worse are the other kids who don't want to risk their own status, so when you do group work they pressure you more than any teachers. and you could miss out and tests and grades and that fear of failure that ruin people's minds for life. - curi.us

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