Why vote for George W. Bush?

These quotes were collected online. Mostly deeply hidden under the comments of Fark.com, I figured it'd be good to dig them out and put them someplace more open.

So, why vote for Bush? A list of good reasons:

Because the absurdity in the system is the only thing that can change the system.

And Americans are too lazy to riot and over throw the government to change it, so vote Bush and let the system collapse itself.

Plus, the past 4 years of Daily Show coverage have been the best ever. I'd like to see an encore.

Because there's so much left to destroy

#1 reason to vote for Bush:
Morbid fascination

Because uncertain times call for uncertain leadership.

Because Kerry won't beat up other countries for their lunch money. And therefore will raise your taxes.

Because you believe in the United States of Jesus Christ. And are a complete hipocrite to the Christian religion.

Because comedians haven't had such good material since "Mr. Potatoe head" Dan Quayle.

If you think Jesus wanted you to kill Iraqis.

Because we need more cheerleaders in office

Random other funny related things

"I, George W. Bush, do solmeny... somenly... salmon -- dammit!" -- swear to uphold the Constipation of the United States."

how many republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

zero

they pass a law that requires school children to pray for god to take the darkness away.

There should be a "none of the above" box on the ballot. In None of the Above wins the election all the parties should have to throw out their candidates and the election starts over.

Sure, we might have a decade long electoral process, but it would be worth it to not have to choose the lesser of two evils.

Your conscience!? Don't let that pushy little weenie tell you what to do

Vote 3rd party, you won't save America because there's till too many stupid people here, but at least you won't be one of them.

Voting Libertarian is like peeing one's pants. It gives you a nice warm feeling, but no one else notices.

Why vote, but vote for neither?

No matter who gets elected, you can self-rightously announce that you didn't vote for him.