If you are stuck with abusive/unsupportive family members during coronavirus lockdown, you can join our Emotional Support Forums.
How to deal with bullies
I asked visitors to this site to submit ways to get bullies to stop bothering them. I didn't get many responses, so here are the few I did get.
Do note that I don't necessarily condone everything that people have sent. This information is here for educational purposes - I'm not saying you should actually do this stuff. The disclaimer applies to this page as well as the rest of the site :)Robert said:
Ignore them. This is one of the hardest things to do, but it works. Ignoring the people who bully you will be hard, since they tend to come after you, but what worked for me was to start lifting weights. School is a prison, so if it works in prison, it should work in school.freak-of-nature13 said:
Ummm.... this may not be the best way. Infact it's probably the worst. Well you know the whole "violence is not the answer" - well this girl was bothering me and my friends, I threw a ranch covered pizza at her and went to the office, but she never messed around with me or my friends (at that table, she stills bullies my other friend but I'm um....going to "confront" her about that) :(SoulRiser said:
A lot of people used to bully me at school (I've long since graduated and all that) - but there was this one cowardly bully in particular that was somewhat amusing. He happened to live 2 houses down from us, so that my mom would always drive past his house taking me to school and back. One day, his dog ran out in front of our car, but we didn't hit it. Later that day in school, I overheard the bully telling one of his buddies that my mom was a bitch for almost running his dog over. So I said "I heard that". Then all of a sudden he was all like "Oh I'm so sorry, please, PLEASE don't tell her! I'll do anything!". So I said "I'll think about it". About 2 minutes later he said "How about if I never bother you again? I'll even try to get everyone else to leave you alone as well. Please, don't tell your mom what I said!". So I said "Deal.", and we shook hands. I didn't tell my mom, and he never bothered me again. He kept his end of the deal, and actually got the others to bother me less as well. We even traded computer games a couple of times. So, the moral of the story? If one of your bullies is a chicken, diplomacy might just work ;)Ash said:
What's always worked for me is bullying them back. Bullying doesn't just refer to taking lunch money and beating kids up. It's more like a way in which the idiots demonstrate their "power" over you. I'm a nice guy, but the way I see it is, if someone is going to be a jerk to me, I'm going to be a jerk right back. When I first started getting bullied in elementary, it was over stupid stuff. I got tired of it and eventually I clocked one of the bullies in the face.
Now, this doesn't have the effect you think it would. What this does is it creates a kind of 'uncertainty' in the minds of bullies. They pick on you all the time but suddenly you're going to do something to them if they do it any more. Which tells them that you are no longer afraid of them, and won't put up with their crap. This does one of two things; it either changes the way bullies treat other people and causes them to realize how stupid they act (this fortunately is what happened in my case, and now he's a good guy), or, they move on to smaller, weaker opponents.
If A happens, that proves that some people can be better than that. If B happens, your best bet is stay away from them. Those people are the kinds of people that just get dumber and worse, and spin off into a downward spiral and go NOWHERE in life. Those are the kinds of psychos that end up as drug dealers and serial killers.
Another alternative is to act like you're crazy.... which has also worked for me... The next time someone tells you to hand over their money, calmly tell them that you are going to come to their house and burn it down. And that you are going to eat their unborn children. Now this may sound a little off, but it causes the bully to literally think you're crazy. And then they stay away from you. OR they beat the crap out of you for threatening them..... which is why you have to be calm about it, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. And you have to be consistent; every time you see the person you have to tell them something different.... like you enjoy knitting sweaters in your free time. And by "knitting" I mean 'kicking' and "sweaters" I mean 'babies'.
A third option you have for dealing with bullies is to take some sort of defense class. Karate is PERFECT. Or you can join the wrestling team. This also teaches you patience and discipline, so that you may be above your enemies. This is for the next time they get in your face. You calmly ignore them, deny and refuse them, or otherwise keep yourself from doing anything they say, and eventually they might get mad enough to where they resort to physical violence against you.
That's where the training kicks in. You can't get in trouble for it since you're only defending yourself. But it's important to ONLY defend yourself; don't go too far like break all their ribs if they slap you. And it's also important not to provoke them. Not provoking bullies doesn't just go for self defense, it's a rule in general and common sense. If you beat them enough, they'll learn not to screw with you anymore, and potentially, not to screw with anyone else either, as they don't know if THEY know karate. If you're going to take karate classes, keep it a secret. If they know about it, they probably won't bother you and thus won't be taught a lesson at all.
Now, I don't condone violence in any form, but it seems to have been OK if the bullies do it first. They start it, you end it. That being said, if all else fails, seek help. Teachers, principals, guidance counselors, ANYONE higher up on the food chain. If your AP is a total badass like mine, then he won't put up with their crap and issue a 'restraining order' so to speak.
If you can't get help from the school, you need to tell your parents or guardians. In fact you should tell them anyway after you tell your administration. You can also ask your friends for help. If they're bigger, you can get them to watch your back. Or if they are a bunch of smaller kids like you, well then, strength in numbers. One small kid acting big and tough against a couple meaner kids isn't much compared to 6 or 7 smaller kids. If I was a bully, I wouldn't want a bunch of little dudes ganging up on me and biting my knees off or something.
Well that's about all the advice I can give on bullies. If you're tired of them and they bully you indirectly, tell your school admins. If they threaten or harm you directly, tell your parents and school admins. If you can't rely on them, you need to rely on yourself to kick their ass, because by that point, they probably need a good beating themselves. Break a leg...