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Q&A: What Should I Do If I Am Afraid To Disappoint My Parents?

• I also think you should try talking to your parents again. I know how hard it is to explain something to someone when they'd rather be confrontational about it than try to understand what you're saying, so maybe writing them a letter could be easier. Or tell them over the phone, even. If you could get them to understand it would be a lot easier. If not, either way, as long as you're firm in your beliefs then you should be OK. Don't let anyone tell you you're ungrateful or unjustified. - SoulRiser

• What your parents think about you doesn't matter. You are your own person and it only matters if you feel good in your actions. - Darthmat

• You might want to try giving them The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Lleweyln. It's a valuable resource that contains a message for parents. - Agnapostate

• look, you've gotta just forget about what your parents think. i know it's hard, and maybe you feel guilty or whatever, but they aren't you and don't know how you feel, so they shouldn't be making these decisions for you. just do what needs to be done, and fuck everybody else's opinions. good luck. - Rebelnerd

• First of all what you're feeling doesn't mean you're an attention getter or emotionally disturbed. Your feelings are real, legitimate, and you know what's causing them which is positive. Secondly, have you let your parents know that you're feeling emotionally cornered, afraid of diappointing them? I, myself, as a parent feel emotionally cornered at times too. A lot of adults have been so programmed also to do the “norm”, not to disappoint “the system”, that they don't even realize it and if they do they don't know how to get out. If you haven't already or if you have the kind of parents who will talk, tell them everything and they should clearly see you're not messed up. If they won't talk ultimately you need to do what is best for you and your sanity. Check the site for all alternatives to public school. On-line schools are a new option. Learn all the options that are open to you. It is your life, your education. - Mom

• This is what I think - if you are really independent and sovereign person with a bit of your personal honor and dignity, your success will be the most important thing and you shall not care for what others think, no matter are they your parents or whoever. If it's not so, then I think you are on the wrong place: we are here to help people which wish to be free and not those who want others just to say them “Well done” and that's all. Those people are, I'll be sincere, idiots. Do not care for what others think, your success is the most important. (Rastko)

1. How low could your grades be without your parents going crazy?

2. Some suggestions:

• Don't worry about what you should be doing as you won't want to do it and thus won't do it anyway until you need to.

• Do interesting stuff in class as much as possible. Sometimes, the teacher is interesting, but normally, I read, study Chinese characters, solve math problems or think about stuff I have read (when I didn't bring any physical object with which to busy myself). I normally don't do work for other classes.

• Drop as many boring classes as your parents let you. You may have to do this one at a time.

• Buy lots of interesting used books from Amazon.

• Stop acting like you have a brain and have figured out that you shouldn't go to school. Your parents probably think it is stupid too, but they probably think that everything is so messed-up that you have to go to school.

• Avoid “wasting time” on video games and TV when your parents are home; “wasting time” like this gives them an excuse for why you should be in school or why you don't like school or something. Try going to sleep/taking a nap right before your parents get home. You may be able to do something like practice a musical instrument or read a book, but don't do that if you don't really want to. (If you do this for a while but still get bad grades, your parents may falsely accuse you of playing video games as mine did. I told them that I rarely play video games, but I don't know whether they believe me, but it certainly made me feel smart.)

• It's even better if you can truthfully say that you never (not just rarely) watch TV, because then your parents will be lying completely if they claim that you would be able to do your homework if you didn't watch TV.

-Will

Posted in: Knowledgebase on August 12, 2021 @ 6:54 PM

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