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How to survive school with your sanity mostly intact

For people who can't get out for whatever reason.

You will be free

In the depths of your despair, it may feel like the walls of school are closing in, suffocating you with each passing day. But remember this: it's not forever. The endless hours, the mundane routines, the stifling atmosphere - they will all fade into distant memories. Count down the days if you must, mark them off like a prisoner scratching lines on the wall. Each day brings you closer to liberation, to the sweet taste of freedom that awaits beyond these school gates.

Life is a turbulent journey, full of ups and downs that can leave you feeling lost and disillusioned. Ignore the naysayers, those prophets of doom who chant about a bleak future for us all. Don't let their negativity seep into your soul and poison your dreams. Believe, instead, that life has a way of surprising us, of turning the tide when we least expect it. Hold onto the belief that better days are coming, that the sun will shine again after the darkest of storms.

Amidst the chaos and confusion of our modern world, there is a glimmer of light that shines through the cracks. Despite the headlines screaming of hatred and division, remember this: on average, humans have become kinder over the decades. Most people are inherently good, capable of empathy and compassion. It's easy to lose sight of this truth amidst the noise of negativity, but it's a truth worth holding onto.

So, my fellow traveler in this journey called life, take heart. You are not alone in your struggles, and you are not condemned to a life of despair. Keep counting down the days, keep dreaming of a brighter tomorrow. You will be free, and when that day comes, you'll look back at this chapter of your life with a sense of triumph and resilience. Stay strong, for the best is yet to come.

See also: Why I Don't Trust Adults Who Say "These Are The Best Years Of Your Life"

The world is vast

The world outside is vast, stretching far beyond the confines of those school walls that seem to close in on you more each day. It's easy to let the negativity of school consume your thoughts, weighing you down like an anchor in stormy seas. But here's the thing: the more you dwell on those dreary corridors and tedious classes, the tighter its grip becomes.

You don't have to surrender to this suffocating cycle. There's a whole universe waiting for you beyond the school gates, filled with possibilities and opportunities that can breathe new life into your days. It's time to shift your focus, to redirect your thoughts towards the brighter side of life. Let school just be a boring blip in your consciousness, and focus as much as you can on things that matter to you.

One way to do this is by finding role models who inspire you to break free from the norm and chase your dreams.

Here are some people that I personally have found to be good role models for me:

• Martha Beck, for embracing your weird self and finding your place in this crazy world.
• Denise Duffield-Thomas, for those of us who lean towards entrepreneurship and being our own boss.
• The people on We Can Do Hard Things podcast, because life is full of hard things, but we can do them, and we can survive and grow.

But it's not just about looking up to others; it's also about finding your people, a supportive community where you feel accepted and uplifted. This community doesn't have to be school-related; it can be online forums, local meetups, or interest-based groups that resonate with your passions. Connecting with like-minded souls can offer a sense of belonging and encouragement as you navigate the ups and downs of life.

So, remember that the world outside is vast and brimming with possibilities. Shift your focus, seek out inspiring role models, and find your supportive community. As you do, you'll discover that the grip of school's negativity loosens, making space for hope, growth, and a brighter tomorrow.

Making school a bit more tolerable

There are small steps you can try to take to make it a bit more bearable. How well they will work depends on your situation, but it's worth a try.

Firstly, try to find a supportive adult if you can. It could be a teacher, counselor, or a weird eccentric aunt living in a cabin in the woods. Having someone to talk to and lean on can make a world of difference.

Next, do some research. Are there any flexible options within your school? Maybe independent study programs, alternative classes, or a different schedule that could work better for you? Sometimes, just changing the environment slightly can make a big difference.

Don't be afraid to request accommodations. Whether it's extra time for assignments, a quieter workspace, or any other reasonable adjustments, advocating for yourself can help alleviate some of the stress.

Set realistic goals for yourself. I know it can feel overwhelming, but try to focus on achievable milestones. Even if it's just doing the bare minimum to get by without being held back a year, or getting through the day without feeling completely drained. Celebrate every small victory.

Hang in there, and take it one step at a time. You've got this.

Self-care

Self-care isn't just a trendy buzzword; it's a lifeline in the storm of school life. It's about stealing moments for yourself, carving out time in your hectic schedule to do things that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it's reading a book that transports you to another world, sketching out your dreams in a notebook, or simply taking a walk in nature, these moments are yours to claim.

Rest is another crucial aspect of self-care. In a world that constantly demands your attention and energy, rest becomes a rebellion, a radical act of self-preservation. Sleep in on weekends, take power naps during the day if you can, and do your best to say no to unnecessary commitments that drain you.

Creating a safe space for yourself is like building a sanctuary amidst chaos. It could be a cozy corner in your room adorned with fairy lights and your favorite quotes, or a spot in nature where you can breathe freely without judgment or expectations. This space is where you can unwind, recharge, and remind yourself that you are worthy of peace and tranquility.

Self-care isn't selfish; it's survival. It's the oxygen mask you put on before helping others, the lifeline that keeps you afloat when everything else feels overwhelming. So, in the midst of school's storm, remember to take as much time for yourself as you can, rest as much as you can get away with, and create that safe space where you can breathe freely. Be kind to yourself - you deserve it.

Stress reduction

Feeling overwhelmed by school? Take a moment to breathe deeply. Inhale, hold, exhale. Repeat. Deep breathing is a simple yet powerful technique to calm your mind and body, even if just for a moment.

Another way to ease the tension is through muscle relaxation. Close your eyes and focus on relaxing each part of your body, starting from your toes all the way up to your head. Let go of the tightness, feel the weight lift off your shoulders.

Exercise can be your secret weapon against stress. Whether it's a brisk walk, a yoga session, or dancing like nobody's watching, moving your body releases endorphins that boost your mood and energy levels.

Creativity is not just for artists. Expressing yourself through writing, drawing, or any form of art can be therapeutic. It's a way to channel your emotions and find a sense of control amidst chaos.

Now, let's talk about grades. You might feel like your whole world depends on those letters on a piece of paper. But guess what? The world will not end if you don't get all A's. In fact, nobody will even care about your grades in a few years. What truly matters is your well-being and happiness.

You deserve to feel relaxed.

If you want to delve deeper into why and how school causes so much stress, check out our post titled "Why does school make me want to throw up?"

Coping strategies for difficult people (bullies etc)

When you're facing difficult people like bullies and others at school, it can feel like there's nowhere to turn for help. Teachers are supposed to be your allies in these situations, offering support and protection. They're meant to create a safe environment where everyone can learn and grow without fear or intimidation. However, the reality is often disappointing.

Many teachers are overwhelmed with responsibilities, and addressing interpersonal conflicts might not be their top priority. They may also lack the training or resources to handle these situations effectively. It's not usually that they don't want to help; it's just that they might not know how.

If you find yourself in a situation where adults are not providing the support you need, you can try using the Gray Rock technique. This technique involves becoming emotionally uninteresting to the difficult person, like a gray rock that blends into the background. By not reacting emotionally or engaging in conflict, you can reduce the power and attention that the difficult person seeks.

More about the Gray Rock technique

Bullies and toxic people feed off the reactions they provoke. They look for signs of distress or frustration because it gives them a sense of power and control. One way to counter this is by avoiding direct eye contact and limiting the amount of attention you give them. By not engaging in their attempts to provoke a reaction, you take away their fuel.

Another aspect of the Gray Rock Technique is maintaining a neutral demeanor. This means not showing emotions, such as anger or fear, when interacting with them. Instead, stay calm and composed, as if their words or actions don't affect you. This sends a message that you are not an easy target for their manipulation.

Keep your interactions with bullies and toxic people as brief as possible. Don't linger or engage in unnecessary conversations that could escalate into conflict. Be polite but assertive in setting boundaries and making it clear that you're not interested in prolonging the interaction.

It's also important not to share personal information with them. Bullies and toxic people may use this information against you or to manipulate you further. Keep conversations superficial and focused on neutral topics.

While the Gray Rock Technique can be effective in diffusing immediate situations, it's important to be cautious about relying on it long-term. You don't want to adopt a defensive, closed-off approach to all interactions, as this can impact your relationships with other people who are not toxic.

Also, be aware that the Gray Rock Technique may not work for everyone or in every situation. Some people may escalate their behavior if they feel ignored or challenged by your neutral stance.

Don't let school ruin learning for you

In the midst of the rigid structures and suffocating routines of school, it's easy to feel like learning has become a chore, a box to tick off rather than a joyful exploration. Peter Gray, a renowned advocate for play in education, reminds us that play is not just a frivolous activity but a fundamental part of learning. It's through play that we discover, experiment, and truly understand concepts in a way that textbooks and lectures often fail to achieve.

So, dear reader, don't let the confines of school dampen your love for learning. Explore subjects and activities that genuinely spark your curiosity and passion. Explore the world around you, dive into books, podcasts, videos—anything that ignites that fire within you. Learning shouldn't feel like a burden but a thrilling journey of self-discovery.

Along the way, celebrate every achievement, no matter how small. Did you finally figure out redstone in Minecraft? Celebrate it! Did you write a poem that resonated with others? Celebrate it! Every step forward, no matter how tiny, is a victory worth acknowledging and cherishing.

Embrace a growth mindset, the belief that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and effort. Challenges and setbacks are not roadblocks but opportunities to learn and grow. Don't shy away from difficulties; instead, face them head-on with determination and resilience. Remember, you are capable of overcoming challenges and thriving in the face of adversity.

You can do hard things. Believe in yourself and your abilities. School may impose its limitations and pressures, but your love for learning and your determination to succeed can transcend those barriers. Don't let school define your learning experience. Take control, explore, celebrate, learn, and grow. The world is vast, and your potential is limitless. <3

Posted in: Blog, Knowledgebase on April 5, 2024 @ 5:53 AM

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