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Why kids hate school, Part 1: It ruins the experience of learning

Dear Parents,

You watch your child every morning, the weight of the world on their shoulders as they drag themselves to school. The sparkle that once lit up their eyes when they discovered something new has dimmed, replaced by a weary resignation. You wonder where the joy of learning went, what happened to that insatiable curiosity. It’s not easy to see your child struggle, and it’s even harder when you feel powerless to help.

You might be asking yourself, why do kids hate school so much? The truth is, it’s not learning they despise—it’s what school does to the experience of learning. Imagine being in a place where you’re constantly judged, compared, and ranked. Every mistake is a mark against you, every failure a reason for shame. That’s the environment your child faces every day. It’s no wonder they’re unhappy.

Think about how school operates. The rigid structure, the standardized tests, the endless homework. There’s no room for creativity, no time to explore their own interests. Learning becomes a chore, a means to an end, rather than a joyful journey of discovery. Your child is told what to learn, how to learn, and when to learn it, with little regard for their unique passions and talents. This cookie-cutter approach crushes their spirit.

Schools often emphasize conformity over individuality. Your child is expected to fit into a mold, to behave in ways that may not align with who they are. They must sit still, follow directions, and perform on demand. If they don’t, they’re labeled as troublemakers, lazy, or even diagnosed with disorders. But what if the problem isn’t with your child? What if it’s with a system that fails to recognize their brilliance and potential?

Remember how excited your child was to start school, to learn about the world? That excitement fades when learning is no longer about discovery but about meeting expectations and avoiding failure. They become more focused on grades than on understanding. They start to believe that their worth is tied to their academic performance. It’s a heavy burden for anyone, especially a child.

As parents, it’s heartbreaking to watch. You want to help, to fix it, but you’re not sure how. The first step is to understand that the problem isn’t your child’s dislike for school—it’s that school, as it is, often ruins the experience of learning. Acknowledge their feelings, listen to their frustrations, and validate their experiences. They need to know they’re not alone in this, that you see and understand their struggle.

In another post, we’ll explore what you can do to support your child and help them rediscover their love for learning. But for now, just be there for them. Let them know it’s okay to feel the way they do. Sometimes, that’s the most powerful thing you can do.

Posted in: For Parents on June 16, 2024 @ 10:16 AM

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