ARMED COPPERS shot dead a student they suspected of pinching a Playstation 3.
The 18 year-old, Peyton Strickland, was killed last Friday as he went to answer a knock at the door. Outside was a band of heavily armed police who, it is suggested, blasted him to kingdom come because the games controller he had in his hand may have looked like some sort of weapon.
The assassination squad had seen pictures of Strickland and pals posing on the Interweb with a selection of assault weapons. So naturally they went in tooled up and took no chances. Stickland's dog, Blaze, was also blasted to bits. He probably had big teeth.
"If this boy would've come to the door, opened the door, we probably wouldn't be talking," the sheriff told the local Raleigh News & Observer.reported.
Americans are warned either to open their door promptly when it is knocked at, or to swiftly leg it out the back an see how far they get. On no account should they dither about or have anything in their hands.
The sorry tale began after one student bought himself a pair of Playstation 3s after queuing for three days. It seems some other students couldn't be bothered with all that queuing so mugged their console-toting colleague instead.
So the armed plod were called in and dealt with their number one suspect like and good console-playing bad-guy busting citizen might, and stuck cap in his ass*.
* Head, actually. Poetic licence applied for.
By Paul Hales: Tuesday 05 December 2006, 16:58